i would have stayed.

Chicago was wonderful. To say the least.

Unfortunately, everything has to come to an end. It seemed like our trip ended much too soon.

Probably because it ended just two short days after it began.

Contrary to what I had expected, Chicago was beautiful. Upon arriving my opinions about the big city were that it was full of black people who were up to no good, that the traffic would be absolutely horrendous, and that I would immediately appreciate the fact that I literally live in the exact opposite surroundings.

That wasn't the case.

I was shocked when we arrived. There wasn't as much traffic as I thought, and there were just as many white people as black. It was definitely a lot different, but what wasn't to like? 

It was fast paced. There was always something to look at. People were everywhere. The entire atmosphere was much different from anything I had ever experienced. But I loved it. I was happy.

& I would have stayed.

There were a lot of things that I really liked about Chicago. 

- I really liked how there was so much going on in the city. It was so busy. Everywhere you looked there was something to see, someone to look at. Where I live all there is to look at are trees and fields and rocks and the sky. After a while, you've seen all there is to see. In Chicago, the sights were never ending.

-The city was rather intriguing. It was something different to look at. The lights were amazing. The buildings were enormous chunks of window covered metal towering over you. There were stores everywhere. Looking out of our hotel window at night easily took my breath away. It was beautiful. 

However, being in Chicago made me realize the things I really love about living up north surrounded by nothing but the good ol’ outdoors.

-Chicago was frightening at times. Garret (my boyfriend) and I were walking down the Magnificent Mile checking things out and shopping a bit when a black man said to a woman, "No, you watch out. You be a pussy, you get f*cked!" It reminded me of the blatant disrespect people have for those they do not know. Where I live, everyone knows everyone, and hearing a thing like that is literally unheard of. 

-The other thing I very much disliked about the big city was the fact that going out to eat turned into a journey all on its own. As I mentioned in my post previous to this one, I was very excited to go to Buffalo Wild Wings. I love Bdubs, it is my favorite restaurant. Unfortunately, my experience with Bdubs and Chicago did not go how I had hoped. My GPS said that it would take a mere 13 minutes to get there. It took 50 minutes just to get there through all the traffic, and then when we arrived, there was a half hour wait. We chose to wait because I love the restaurant so much. Finally, we were seated in a crowded room at a tiny table, surrounded by noisy, disrespectful people. After ordering our drinks and food we waited another half hour at least. By the time I got my food I was so pissed off I wanted to leave. It definitely made me thankful that at home if I want to go out to eat, I know that I will not have to drive for an hour watching out for crazy, terrible drivers. I know that when I arrive, there will be a place for me to park. And I know for sure that if I have to wait, it will only be for a short time and that my waitress/waiter will do her/his best to get my food to me as soon as possible. 

Of course there is always bad accompanies the good. But I have to say, my experience in Chicago was amazing and I would DEFINITELY do it again.

Almost there!

Room keys.

 Buckingham Fountain.

Navy Pier.

    Chicago River.

  Marilyn Monroe.

Me.

   Garret and I.

 Millennium Park (obviously).

My love and I at Millennium Park.

chicago bound!

Good morning my lovelies. (o:
Today I am off to Chicago! I won't be home for a few days, but when I return I will have much for you!
Enjoy the video! (my first one ever!)

Some things I didn't mention in the video are:
1.) Chicago is 380 miles away from my home! (which, according to Google, is about 6 hours and 44 minutes worth of driving.)
2.) I've never been to a big city in my life; I live in a tiny town up in the mit (o:
3.) I am going to Chicago because it is Christmas break for me and I haven't done much of anything and my boyfriend and I decided to go for our fifteen month anniversary which is tomorrow. (o:
4.) Yes, I just woke up and I am eating pizza rolls.
5.) If you understood my appreciation for Buffalo Wild Wings, you would know how huge this is for me!

Anyways, I'll have some pictures up in a few days, unless I can figure out how to use the Blogger app on my iPhone. (o:

christmas time.

Since it's Christmas I thought I might post something festive. 

Enjoy. (o:

                                             

 Back row: Ben, Carly, Me, Ashley, Jordan, Jessie, Taylor; Front: Casey

Christmas is a time for friends and family. This is a group of my best friends on ugly Christmas sweater day.

Garret and I

" i just want you here tonight

holding on to me so tight

what more can i do

baby all i want for christmas is you. "

Have a very Merry Christmas!

reaching out.

"Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light."  ~Norman B. Rice

Yesterday was my very first time peer tutoring a fifth grade gym class. The minute I walked in the door my eyes locked on one of the students in particular. Something about her screamed, "this little girl is just like me!".

 I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something special about her.

Each of the students were equally excited when their gym teacher said they would be playing a game called nukum, where the court is split into two halves and  a ball is thrown over a net from one team to another. When one catches the ball, the person who threw it is out and when the ball hits the floor, whoever is closest must leave the game as well. 

Watching them play was quite an experience.

Hearing them cheer when they caught the ball and seeing them laugh together as they played made me realize a few different things. When we are young, we become excited by the littlest things. We are able to take time to look around us and see things in a different way than teenagers and adults. Children view everything from a different perspective. Sometimes it can be a beautiful thing because they have so much appreciation without even trying. They have a natural eye for amazing things. Unfortunately, however, sometimes their perspective on things can be damaging.

As the game continued, an argument broke out.

It is amazing how children can take things so personal. Of course, they are not old enough to understand that the best thing to do is to ignore mean things said. The class bully had insulted one of his classmates saying:

"You got out again! You're out! You're out!". 

It was the girl I had a feeling about, and she instantly took offense and became emotional. She left the court, heading for the comfort of a hidden stairwell. At first she walked, but as the tears began to come down she began to run.

I followed, and sat down next to her.

She was quite obviously upset: tears streamed down her face as she trembled and took in tiny, continuous breaths. I tried to comfort her. At first she wouldn't answer my questions. Eventually though I got her to soften up and she let me in. She told me about how she didn't like that boy, she mentioned her feelings about school and Christmas, her family, her dog, her favorite color, and various other things.

Emily told me enough about her life to make me realize how lucky I am.

I have never felt so moved by a child in my life. She doesn't like the boy that made fun of her because he is really mean to everyone. She can't wait for Christmas break to start because she doesn't like school one bit. She isn't excited for Christmas though, because her mom is never around. She can't wait to go home and cuddle with her dog, because he's the only one that likes her. She's sad because her grandpa had a stroke and he almost died. She doesn't know what she will do if he does die because she has no one to go to. She says she has no friends. And she really believes that no one likes her. 

I told her everything would be okay. Even though I don't know if it will be.

I believe that every day God reaches down and puts someone or something in front of us to try to teach us different things throughout our lifelong journey. Yesterday I realized that there is so much to life that we should be thankful for, that we are not, and that sometimes we don't know it, but the very person standing next to us may be going through things that we cannot imagine. I realized that making yourself a better person starts when you try to help somebody else become a better person. It doesn't hurt to lend a hand, to spread some love, and to say a prayer for those around us. Help someone in need. Comfort someone who is down. Smile at a stranger as your lives cross paths.                                       

Every chance you get-

"Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light."

Spread the word; let the love inside.

Starry Eyed

Starry Eyed by Ellie Goulding

This has recently become one of my favorite songs.  In fact, this song is what inspired me to call my blog "paper planes and playground games". It fits perfectly with the message I'm trying to get across. 

If you are interested in the music portion of my blog visit the "Music" label on my page.

Oh, oh, starry eyed

Hit, hit, hit, hit, hit me with lightning

Handle bars, and then I let go

Let go for anyone

Take me in, and throw out

My heart and get a new one

Next thing, we're touching

You look at me it's like you hit me with lightning

Oh, everybody's starry eyed

And everybody knows

Oh, everybody's starry eyed

And my body goes

So we burst into colors

Colors and carousels

Fall head first

Like paper planes and playground games

Next thing, we're touching

You look at me it's like you hit me with lightning

Oh, everybody's starry eyed

And everybody knows

Oh, everybody's starry eyed

And my body goes

Next thing we're touching

Next thing we're touching

Next thing we're touching

Next thing we're touching

(x2)

Hit me with lightning

Oh, everybody's starry eyed

And everybody knows

Oh, everybody's starry eyed

And my body goes

(x2)

Accidental art.

In my appreciation for art, I present to you: CRAYONS!

Dumping my box of crayons was an accident actually, but it turned out very beautiful.

There is always good in the bad.

You just have to search for it.

Sometimes accidents are the most beautiful things in life.

It all comes down to how you look at it.

life lesson from dad.

Almost a year ago I was given some advice that could have made the biggest change in my life, if only I had payed more attention to the words that covered my 17th birthday card from the one and only: dad.

First:

"Be good to yourself.

 There are some things everyone deserves- love, respect, time to recharge.

 Never settle for less."

Secondly:

"Seek out your dreams. 

Start small. 

Take it as it comes. 

Even a butterfly has to inch along before getting its wings."

Third:

"Listen to your heart. 

Trust your gut. 

If the way seems unclear, look within you."

Fourth:

"Let your voice be heard. 

You have a story to tell and opinions that count. 

And a difference to make."

Fifth:

"Stay curious. 

Wonder. 

Take every opportunity to learn.

 Knowledge is a gift; It will take you places.

 Hold onto what's important; Let worries go.

 No matter how you look at it, some things just don't make sense. 

The way you choose to carry on is what really matters."

Last:

"And when you make that list of what you want in life, make another list of what you've got.

 Be sure to start with all the things that make you a beautiful person. 

There are so many."

Most of all, remember you are loved. Always. 

Happy Birthday Miranda,

Love Dad and Dana.

This card means a lot to me because it makes more sense than anything I've ever read. It helps me remember that not everything has to be perfect, and sometimes you will struggle, but there is no need to worry, because things will turn out however they're supposed to.

It reminds me that life is about being happy with who you are, it's about reaching for the stars, trusting your better judgement, standing up for what you believe in, and continuing to push through even when things get tough.

It helps me remember who I am and what kind of person I want to be. 

I am:

hardworking and a perfectionist, I push myself to the maximum.

I want to be: 

forgiving of myself when things don't turn out perfectly; able to five myself a break

I am:

the kind of person that will try her best and still feel like it isn't good enough.

I want to be:

able to accept that things won't be exactly what I hope, but able to realize that my best IS good enough.   

I am:

lost at times, and confused about where to go next.

I want to be: 

comfortable with trusting myself in making decisions that may be difficult and life changing

I am: 

Outspoken, blunt, misunderstood at times, but I try to make people understand.

                                                  

I want to be:

heard when I have something to say, making  a difference that will actually help. speaking out in a positive way, not just when I want disagreeing opinions to be heard. 

I am: 

the girl that will spend all her time worrying about things that don't matter. the one who can never get her mind off of things that she cannot change.

I want to be:

able to accept the things I cannot change, and be able to walk away from something that is a lost cause. the girl who knows how to move forward with her head held high. the girl who stays positive and can keep her head up. The beautiful girl that I am, only with a smile on her face.

I want to be thankful for the life I have been given and appreciative of everything, big and small.

This card helps me remember that life doesn't have to be hard if you don't make it hard.

This card reminds me that I can do anything in the world if I set my mind to it.

This card is a reminder that I am a beautiful person.

And so are you.

Inside and out, even if we do not do all the things we should, even if we are not exactly who we want to be and who others want us to be. 

There is still hope for you and I.

I plan to live my life like i'll never see tomorrow. To spread some love. To make the world a better place. While we're here that's the best thing we can do.

I'm choosing to change my life.

To be happy, determined, trusting, honest, and to persevere.

I'm choosing to be beautiful.