it's official...

Hello everyone,

I have big big big news for you.

*inhale deeply*

Garret and I, we're over.

*exhale slowly*

Yes, it's true. I know, I know, its crazy, and its very hard to wrap your head around.

Oh trust me. I know it is.

But it's the truth. And we all have to find a way to accept it.

No matter how much it hurts us.

Now, that being said, I have a few more truths to add before I close this post.

1. It was my choice.

2. I have cried every night since then.

3. I miss him terribly.

4. I worry more about him than myself.

5. I did it for the better.

6. My life is not over; but has just begun.

7. I'm afraid I'll be alone forever.

8. Right now I'm sick to my stomach sad.

9. But I have hope for the future.

10. & I'll be okay, eventually.

So, if you'll allow me to finish my ice cream now, I'm going to have to have quite a few more servings before this pain goes away. To be honest, all the ice cream in the world might not even be able to fix my heart. But that doesn't mean I can't try. And If it doesn't work, well, I'll go back to him, I suppose.

It sucks. And the more I think about it the more sad I get. But I'm happy it happened too.

Because now I have a chance to be my own person.

I can finally break free, and reach out, and explore a little.

I will finally be able to figure out who I am, and who I want to be.

And I will finally be given the opportunity to become that person.

On my own.

Even though I'm really sad this had to happen, I know I had no more chances to give.

It was just time. I can accept that some things can't be fixed.

I'm hopeful for my future.

I know I have so much potential and I don't plan on wasting any of it.

I don't have to settle for anything.

And I'm not going to.

Just one more big girl lesson I've learned.

Many more to come, I'm sure.

as of late...

Good afternoon lovelies,

I'm probably in one of the crappiest moods ever today. Not even just today, I can't lie anymore, I have to be honest with someone about how I'm currently feeling. I hate growing up. End of story.

I can't even blog regularly like I was able to during the school year, because I work too much now.

And when I'm not at work, I'm at 'home' dealing with a bunch of bs.

And 'home' isn't even home.

Which is why I'm moving back.

There. I said it.

Decision made.

I had to go to the college to get some things for my financial aid straightened out.

And afterwards, I went to Big Apple Bagels for a Cinnamon Crumb Cake muffin and some hot chocolate.

I was hoping it would make me feel better.

But as I sat there, 

sipping my hot chocolate,

picking at my muffin,

and feeling 

sorry

for myself,

I realized something.

I don't have to do anything

that I don't want to.

And I'm not going to. So I'm coming home.

I don't care what any one says about me. Sometimes you have to do what's best for you. And I think it is.

So I went to work, and I had a crappy night. 

But when I got home, 

I took a long hot shower.

I had a nice cold drink,

And I went to bed.

And when I woke up, I got ready.

And I thought about all the things that I can change.

And now,

I'm changing them. 

One at a time.

Because I dont have to do anything I don't want to.

And because this life is about me.

Not anyone 

else.

settling in.

Good afternoon everyone!
Now that everything is put away and organized (for the most part) I have a couple minutes to write up a quick post! For one, I should tell you about how the move went.
It was awful.
Every bit of it. It was stressful, nothing went as planned, I was rushed and the whole thing was a big mess. But that's okay, because it's over now, and everything is all put away, and I'm still alive. So, we're good. The worst part of moving was loading my car. I could not get my desk and shelf to fit so I ended up slicing up the inside of my car, and bruising my legs and arms. It literally got to the point where I just sat by myself in the driveway and cried for a while. I was tired, in pain, hungry, strapped for time; I just needed a break.

But now that we're finally here, and I have a space for the things I must have, everything is much better. I have my little haven, and our bedroom is decent (not very big but my room wasn't big either) so I'll be able to live; and relax a little...

At least until I have to go to work that is. This coming week, I don't even get a day off. But that's okay. I'll take 43 hours worth of work. No biggie.

And in my free time, I'll be reading the second of the Fifty Shades books. Which I bought a couple days ago. I do highly recommend the first one. It is very good.

Hopefully I'll be able to post again soon.

I'm so thankful that we have internet already. (o:

baby birdy finally flies.

Hello my lovelies.
I thought I should let you all know that I am finally moving. I was very pleased when I got a phone call from a close friend who had just recently moved in with her boyfriend to a small two bedroom apartment five miles out of Alanson and just two miles from Petoskey. She called to ask if Garret and I would like to move into the neighboring bedroom and become roommates. We gladly accepted the offer and arranged plans to get our things moved in. Tomorrow is the big day. Tomorrow this little bird is finally jumping from the nest, and spreading her wings.

The search has not ended, however. We will not be living with them for the entire school year. Only until we are able to find a place of our own, however, we are in no hurry now. This will be easier for the four of us freshly starting out adults. I'm excited for the good times to come, and even for the challenges. They have already started, and I haven't even loaded my car yet. I'm saving that for tomorrow morning.

Packing was so emotional for me. My parents have told me that I can stay here at home for as long as I need. If I'm in college, I will not have to pay rent, and if I am ever not working to further my education, I must pay to stay here. Because I can stay, but am choosing to go, I can leave some of my stuff in my room when I go. Yesterday was so hard because I had to go through everything in my room and really think about what I should take, what I want to take, and what I will need to take. I realized as I was going through my things that we hide from ourselves so much that is in plain sight. It was quite a realization. And as certain things found their way into my hands, certain memories found their way into my mind. I could no longer put off thinking about things that I have buried in my room. Packing was so emotional for me.

I managed to get everything all packed up though, and luckily all I have to do is work tonight and then hopefully get some sleep without all the excitement keeping me awake. The tomorrow morning I make the hour journey and will have some time to unpack my things before I take off for tutoring at 2:00 p.m. and work at 4:00 p.m.

This is all the clothing I am planning to bring. (also one small basket that needs washing)

I know it isn't much, but I hope that when I leave I'll realize I need something...

Then I'll have to come home at some point to get it.

I hope I miss my parents.

I hope they miss me.

And these are the things I am bringing. In addition to one other box about the same size as the one pictured and a couple bags. I also plan to bring my book shelf (the books are in the other box) and my desk.

I'll keep you all updated on the move.

Since I know how much you care (o:

Fifty Shades of Grey [Book]

Hello everyone. (o:
So, yesterday I got done with my tutoring job a little bit early because Isabella was not focusing very well. I decided that I'd use the extra half hour I had before my second job to go scope out the bookstore. Ever since I bought my Kindle Fire I have been noticing this book popping up under the 'Books I Should Read' category. So, I decided, what the heck. And I bought the thing.

Now. Let me tell you something about me and books. I don't read very often, because I am always so busy. But when I do find a good book, I will MAKE time to read it. So, today I say in my room and read 150 pages of this Fifty Shades of Grey, and let me tell you: It is really good! However, before I bought it, the woman at the bookstore made sure I was older than 16 before she let me purchase it.* When I finish it, I just might have to write a review on it and post it here. Keep your eye out for it!

*I should warn you that the warning on the back about 'Erotic Romance' and 'Mature Audience' is NOT a joke. This book is extremely descriptive and has many adult themes. 

hit the bay with the boy.

Hello my lovelies.
A few days ago I was able to get my schedule changed around a bit so that I could squeeze in one morning with my Garret. We decided that it was a perfect day to go to the beach yesterday. So that's where we were headed. When we got there, we found out that we were right. The sun was shining, the sand was hot, and the water was amazing. I had an awesome time just laying out with my man talking, giggling, people watching, tanning, and swimming. Enjoy the pictures. (o:

☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼

My favorite drink for beach days.

Red bull.

☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 

I love nothing more than to be hugged, kissed, and cuddled with 

by this handsome boy.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 

☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼

Oreo ice cream I picked up for the two of us. 

Such a yummy treat on a hot day.

☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 

He's definitely doing something right. 

That's for sure.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 

☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼

Fresh fruit anyone? Mush melon or Watermelon?

Yum, both please!!!

☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼

   ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

All smiles when I'm with this man.

The one who cares for me like he's my brother

the one who protects me from the world like a father

the one who always stands at my side like a best friend

the one who holds my hand and kisses my forehead like a lover.

& yes, you guessed it: he's mine. Garret and Miranda; forever & always. 

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 

There's nothing like...

...going out and acting like a lady, but letting your inner child come out for a short time here and there. I feel like Garret and I do this every time we're together. We know how to be mature. We know when its time to act like an adult, and when things are serious. But there is nothing wrong with forgetting your responsibilities for a minute and letting loose. Life is full of too much stress; never forget how to be the kid that you once were when everything was all rainbows and butterflies. I'm so happy to have a boy like this as my best friend and my lover. There is seriously nothing better than being able to act like a kid, a teenager and an adult all at once with the person you love.

Little Talks

Little Talks by Of Monsters & Men

Someone pointed this song out to me. Ever since then I can't get it out of my head and when I hear it I think of them instantly. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing...

Hey! Hey! Hey!

I don't like walking around this old and empty house.

So hold my hand, I'll walk with you my dear

The stairs creak as I sleep,

it's keeping me awake

It's the house telling you to close your eyes

Some days I can't even dress myself.

It's killing me to see you this way.

'Cause though the truth may vary

this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

There's an old voice in my head

that's holding me back

Well tell her that I miss our little talks.

Soon it will all be over, buried with our past

We used to play outside when we were young

and full of life and full of love.

Some days I feel like I'm wrong when I am right.

Your mind is playing tricks on you my dear.

'Cause though the truth may vary

This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

Hey!

Don't listen to a word I say

Hey!

The screams all sound the same.

Hey!

Though the truth may vary

this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

You're gone, gone, gone away,

I watched you disappear.

All that's left is a ghost of you.

Now we're torn, torn, torn apart,

there's nothing we can do,

Just let me go, we'll meet again soon.

Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around

I'll see you when I fall asleep.

Hey!

Don't listen to a word I say

Hey!

The screams all sound the same.

Hey!

Though the truth may vary

this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

Hey!

Don't listen to a word I say

Hey!

The screams all sound the same.

Hey!

Though the truth may vary

this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore (x3)

Recipe- Sour Cream Softies

Good morning my friends!
Today I have a very special post for you. First of all, it is my very first recipe post, and second, I took the pictures and made the goodies with my boyfriend on our year and 9 month anniversary. It was such a fun time. So, if you're a cookie lover and you've never heard of these bad boys, you better try them out.

Things you'll need: 

  3 cups sifted all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 cup butter or 1/2 cup margarine

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 cup sour cream (8 ounce carton)

cinnamon sugar

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Measure flour, salt, baking powder, and soda into a sifter.

2. Cream butter or margarine with sugar until well blended in a large bowl: beat in eggs and vanilla.

3. Sift in flour mixture, adding alternately with sour cream to make a thick batter.

4. Drop by by rounded Tablespoonfuls, 4 inches apart, on greased cookie sheets; spread into 2 inch rounds; sprinkle with cinnamon-sugar.

5. Bake in hot oven (400°F) 12 minutes, or until lightly golden around the edges.

6. Remove from cookie sheets; cool completely on wire racks.

beautiful beach days.

Hello everyone,
I've taken some time off the blog. Mostly because I've been so so so busy with work and tutoring the girls. Its been a crazy couple of weeks for me. But don't worry! I'm back now. So, today I'm just going to post about a couple beach days that have occurred over the past week or so and were quite memorable.

6/15/12

Lindsey, Carly , and I before venturing into the water with the boat.

Lindsey and Carly taking the boat out on a Navy Seal mission.

Feather. I probably shouldn't be touching things like this.

6/28/12

My very best friend in the entire world. I know I'm going to miss her so much when she leaves for Grand Valley without me. It will be devastating.

The best part about Sturgeon Bay is that you can share it so easily with everyone. We had a group of about 10-15 people and it was such a blast.

And of course, the good ole boat. We've already made some great memories with this little guy.

More posts coming soon. I promise. 

4321...

...South Shore Drive is the address of the place Garret and I will *hopefully* be moving into at the end of August. We viewed the apartment Monday afternoon and it is just the cutest little thing.

This is a picture of the outside of the building. Like I said, the cutest little thing. What it is, is a building that was foreclosed and someone decided to turn it into a few one bedroom units for rent. They are all remodeled so everything is brand new.

 This is a view of part of the bedroom and bathroom from inside the bedroom.

This is a view of the kitchen from inside the living room. The door on the right is the bedroom door and the bathroom is inside the bedroom.

This is the view of the living room from standing in the kitchen.

The whole apartment is really adorable. And the price is just as nice. Only 550 per month and all utilities except for electricity are included. It's been 10 days since we put in our applications. So, eventually he should be calling us to let us know when we can move in! Keep your fingers crossed, and our names in your prayers. We need this more than anything right now.