Someday in the Future
a poem written by me.
10/1/12
Summer had come and gone,
Before I could look to see where it was going.
Pieces left behind were part of a bigger picture,
But I had no way of knowing.
What was to come?
What was in store?
I knew it was time to move forward;
Time to choose a new door.
But we never really know,
What the future is holding.
Sometimes we aim to predict it,
Based on how the past has been unfolding.
The past has never looked darker,
But to get better it has to be bad first.
There’s comfort in knowing that.
And three weeks ago things were at their worst.
A week after it all happened,
Your message came through.
It was unexpected as always,
Completely out of the blue.
I quit what I was doing,
And pulled my phone out to take a peek.
I was expecting a pitiful message from him,
After all, it had only been one week.
But when I looked down,
My heart rate burst through the roof.
I was so happy:
To tell the honest-to-God truth.
You wanted to know if I’d like to hang out.
And I didn’t know what to say.
The timing was oddly convenient,
I didn’t have time to think all day.
I wanted to really think it over.
Just like you know I always do.
But I didn’t have sufficient time to decide.
What I should say to you.
I reviewed each of my choices quickly,
However I remained as stagnant as ever.
But time was ticking.
It was now or never.
Spontaneity won me over,
I promised myself I wouldn’t go through it again.
After that night I couldn’t help feeling like,
This time would be different from back then.
It wasn’t until I got out of my car,
that I realized how bad my hands were shaking.
And it wasn’t until after our dinner.
That I was excited for the plans we were making.
That night I made a decision,
I decided I was done turning away.
It was September 15th.
I made up my mind that day.
And you had no idea.
You probably still don’t.
I’m sure you probably think this is temporary-
That I’ll stop talking, but I won’t.
I keep imagining you in my life,
There’s nothing I want more.
I’m truly sorry,
I didn’t realize it before.
All this time we tried to keep each other out
But kept finding our way back in.
There’s nothing we can do.
It’s time to give in.
Just four days later,
We were seeing each other again.
That night we made further plans,
I could hardly wait until then.
Friday September twenty first,
You took me to the Perry Hotel.
I had such a nice time that night.
You really made my heart swell.
You picked me up,
You drove us there,
And I loved every second of it.
It’s true, I swear.
You opened my door,
You helped me out and held my hand.
And you gave me a piggy back ride,
When I couldn’t stand.
You paid for yet another dinner,
And a movie that night too.
And you don’t know how nice that is…
But I do.
You dropped me off that night,
And we said goodbye.
I thought of the upcoming 17 days without you.
And let out an internal sigh.
Seconds after our hug,
The clock read 10:42.
I glanced up with a big smile,
And you grinned too.
The next thing I knew,
You were driving away.
Something wasn’t right.
It felt weird to end this way.
Not even five minutes later,
A message came through.
“Can I come back and see you for a minute?”
Of course I wanted you to.
I stood in the light of a street lamp,
I could barely contain myself when you pulled in.
I lost track of time when you took my hands,
I don’t know how long it’d been.
But you came with an explanation,
About why you’d come back so suddenly.
17 days was too long to think about,
How you didn’t, but should have kissed me.
You finished your sentence and pulled me in,
And for a very brief few seconds our lips met.
And everything about that short time,
I still have yet to forget.
Feeling fuzzy all over,
I walked back inside.
I couldn’t stop smiling.
Not even if I tried.
But then once I realized,
That three weeks must go by,
I wasn’t sure I could not see you.
But I decided I would try.
It’s been 11 days so far,
And I’m doing okay.
Hearing your voice every night,
Is what I look forward to during the day.
And every single night,
Just as we end the conversation.
I want to whisper, ‘I love you.’
But something causes my hesitation.
But this Friday I hope,
We can see each other once more.
An adventure to Tahquamenon Falls:
Date number four.
And It’s hard to say,
It’s hard to be sure.
If by that time,
You could be more.
More than some guy,
More than a friend.
More than what you were,
Way back when.
But we never really know,
What the future is holding.
I’m trying to predict it,
Based on how our time together has been unfolding.
If I know one thing for sure,
It’s that time will continue to go.
And what’s in the picture we’re painting,
Someday in the future we’ll know.
